The Hogwarts Letters
by Ice Princess5
Summary: Er... I don't know what got into me. The Hogwarts students and faculty are exchanging letters. Kinda one of those spur of the moment things. Just read it, and review please! Thanx!
1. Part I

Untitled Document

The Hogwarts Letters   
  
Part I   
  
By: Ice Princess   
  


A/N: This is my first attempt at humor, so I hope I do alright... Somehow this idea just came to mind, so I'm going to play around with it and see if it amounts to anything. Well, just read it and review if you'd like please. No flames though. Constructive criticism is welcome! But flames will be used for marshmallows. These are letters from and to the students and faculty at Hogwarts (and some other special people...), just incase you wanted to know... Now, read on.   
  


~*~*~*~   
  


  
  
Dear Harry,   
Just so you know... I'm still out there, and at large. I'm going to get you one day, as soon as I get all my strength back!   
Lord Voldemort   
  
  
Dear Lord Voldemort,   
Good always defeats evil. I'm going to kill you once and for all as soon as you stop being a coward and stop hiding.   
Harry Potter   
  
  
Dear Jessica,   
Don't tell Harry, but I think he's so cute!   
Ginny Weasley   
  
  
Dear Ginny,   
I know you are obsessed with Harry Potter, but I really think Colin likes you! Why don't you give him a try?   
Jessica Andrews   
  
  
Dear Ron,   
I know your sister likes me, but now she's writing letters about me. I found one on the ground. It's pretty freaky. I don't mind that much... It's just kinda overwhelming if you know what I mean... There's a dance this Friday at Hogwarts. I want to ask Hermione because I really really like her, but I'm too afraid to... Can you help me?   
Harry Potter   
  
  
Dear Harry,   
I don't know what Ginny's problem is. She's too young to like someone! Sure, I'll help you with Hermione.   
Ron Weasley   
  
  
Dear Ron and Harry,   
Ginny is NOT too young to like someone Ron! I can't believe you think that! And what is Ron going to help you with that has to do with me Harry???   
Hermione Granger   
  
  
Dear Hermione,   
I agree with you. Ginny is old enough to start liking people... but why does it have to be me? She's writing letters about me! C'mon! And another thing... Don't read other people's mail! What Ron is helping me with is none of your business!   
Harry Potter   
  
  
Dear Hermione,   
Ginny is much much much much much too young to like anyone or go out with anyone, and I will believe that of the rest of my life!   
Ron Weasley   
  
  
Dear Harry,   
You're one to talk. You were reading Ginny's mail when she wrote a letter about you!   
Hermione Granger   
  
  
Dear Ron,   
You are very very very very very very very very wrong! Two can play this game. See you at dinner!   
Hermione Granger   
  
  
Dear Jessica,   
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Harry read the letter I wrote you! Him and Ron were talking about it! How could you have lost it? I can't believe this! Now I won't be able to look him in the face at dinner tonight! Thanks a lot Jessica!   
Ginny Weasley   
  
  
Dear Ginny,   
Calm down! Maybe you should give Collin Creevy a try now, huh?   
Jessica Andrews   
  
  
Dear Jessica,   
You're not helping! I'm just been humiliated beyond description! I'm seriously sooooo embarassed! I suppose I should just forget about Harry. Tell Collin that I'm not going to the dance with anyone yet... incase he wants to ask me.   
Ginny Weasley   
  
  
Dear Mudblood,   
You stink!   
The Slytherins   
  
  
Dear Slytherins,   
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me! Wands might put curses on me as well... but I just used a Mud - er, I mean Muggle saying so wands wouldn't be appropriate for it... Anyway, my point was that I don't care what you say, so there!   
Hermione Granger   
  
  
Dear Potty,   
You stink!   
The Slytherins   
  
  
Dear Slytherins,   
You stink more than I do!   
Harry Potter   
  
  
  


~*~*~*~   
  


A/N: Well, that was the end of that. The next part will have a lot more stuff with more characters in it. Review 'n stuff now. Don't flame though! Thanx! 

  
  



	2. Part II

Untitled Document

The Hogwarts Letters   
  
Part II   
  
By: Ice Princess   
  


A/N: Thanks for reviewing for those of you that did. If you would like to send in letters or something then you can, and I'll write out replies or something. Just if you want to do that. Because I'm going to run out of letter ideas soon. Thanks! ~ Ice Princess   
  


~*~*~*~   
  


  
  
Harry, Hermione, and Ron were sitting together at Dinner, eating their food, and talking about their day.   
  
"I hate Snape! He gave us way too much homework!" Ron muttered bitterly.   
  
"Yeah Ron, you should try doing your homework from last month that he assigned," Hermione retorted with a giggle.   
  
"So... what were you guys saying about me?" she asked to both of them.   
  
Harry turned a tinge of red quickly. "Er - nothing!"   
  
"Yeah, sure..." Hermione trailed off.   
  
"He's telling the truth Hermione," Ron said backing Harry up.   
  
Hermione pouted.   
  
"You guys are no fair! We're supposed to be best-friends! Fine then, be that way!" Hermione exclaimed, and would not talk to them for the rest of dinner.   
  


~*~*~*~   
  


Dear Ron,   
Please tell me! I'll be your best friend!   
Hermione Granger   
  
  
Dear Hermione,   
You already are my best friend. Okay, if you promise you'll never say anything as lame as that ever again, maybe I'll tell you...   
Ron Weasley   
  
  
Dear Ron,   
ARE YOU CRAZY??????????????????????????? How could you even THINK of telling Hermione? Even if she did promise to quit with her lame sayings, even though it is kinda cute when she does say them... wait, back on topic Harry.... Oh ya! ARE YOU CRAZY??????????????????? Think about that for a little bit because I know the answer to that one!   
Harry Potter   
  
  
Dear Ron,   
I promise! Now tell me!!!   
Hermione Granger   
  
  
Dear Harry,   
You better watch what you say or I might accidentally show Hermione that letter you just wrote me! In the meantime, I'm keeping it under safe keeping... JUST incase!   
Ron Weasley   
  
  
Dear Hermione,   
Mind your own business!   
Harry Potter   
  
  
Dear Harry,   
What letter did you write Ron? What was it about? Was it about me? Why don't you want me to see it? Am I asking too many questions? Am I annoying you now?   
Hermione Granger   
  
  
Dear Ron,   
ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!   
Harry Potter   
  
  
Dear Minerva,   
I think you're cute.   
Your Secret Admirer   
  
  
Dear Harry,   
Ewwwwwwwwww! Someone likes Professor McGonagall!   
Ron Weasley   
  
  
Dear Ron,   
Yeah, I know! It's weird! The whole school's talking about it!   
Harry Potter   
  
  
Dear Minny,   
Can I call you Minny?   
Your Secret Admirer   
  
  
Dear Secret Admirer,   
I don't know who you are, so I don't know if you can call me Minny or not...   
Minerva McGonagall   
  
  
Dear Ginny,   
Will you go to the dance with me?   
Collin Creevy   
  
  
Dear Ginny,   
Will you go to the dance with me?   
Neville Longbottom   
  
  


~*~*~*~   
  


A/N: Part two finished! Believe it or not, I'm actually having fun writing this, and as I said this is my first humorous fic. Please review, and if you have any letters, then just send them. They can be from Draco, Voldemort, Cho, or even you! Thanx a whole bunch! ~ Ice Princess 


End file.
